i is hungry

it is not dinner time yet and i is hungry. i am doing pretty good on caloric intake for the day and plan on going to the gym--so i just have to hold off till dinner and avoid snacking. my snacks today were the special k bar and an orange. i was smart and left the mocha i bought in the car. waste, but at least i didn't consume an excessive 330 calories!

It's been a while

But I think I'm back on it. Now that Daniel is liking going to the gym too things are back on track there and I'll work on the eating thing.

Today after eating my lunch of spaghetti squash and chicken I was still hungry. So I gave in a little and grabbed a chocolate from the sees box my fam gave me in my stocking. But I limited my consumption of it by only taking a few small bites over the course of about 2 hours. I remember something in college about how chocolate can help w dieting bc there is something in it which helps with appetite. Either way I was good an learning to get my self control back. It is so much harder to do this with Daniel around. But I'm learning and I have to since he is going to be around in the future.

So new goal time. I want to lose 2 lbs a week again for a total of 25 ish pounds lost. I am hoping the first 10 pounds will be easy again. Gotta be strict and consume less. It will get much easier as time goes on and I have less appetite. I will start the Jillian michaels 30 day thing when Daniel leaves.

I'm hoping for some great results. I'm also kind of toying with the idea of trying a supplement. We shall see about that though.

Yeah I suck

Fitness fail. Shall I try to keep it up? Meh. Idk. I will go to the gym today and see how that goes. Bar exam passage stress and thanksgiving meant bad eating and little exercise. Guess the gym today will test where I am. Just wanna be a fatty sometimes. But cannot.

So hungry means short run?

I'm soooo hungry right now and it's probably bc my lunch wasn't very much. But it had carbs. Calories were fine but I need some protein to stay full. I am already anticipating a shorter run at the gym tonight. Probably just 50 minutes and 600 calories. I have no idea what I am going to cook for dinner! Probably just micro food bc I'm nearly out of groceries. It would be fairly easy to make chicken noodle soup though. And that would probably be pretty nice for the cold weather. I just know that I have to be asleep really early tonight for getting out the door at 6 tomorrow. It's probably going to be a good quick night as long as I don't starve between now and the gym. Micro food is faster. Hm. I really feel like pizza. Too bad that can't happen.

Keep track

So today was my day of realization that I could potentially be giving up the strictness of my diet. I need to avoid that. I didn't make entries all weekend. I didn't go to the gym this weekend. I only went two times during the week. This is not ok. So today is my turn it all around day.

I'm currently really hungry at 10:35 in the morning after my standard breakfast of half egg sandwich. This is not good. I feel like my body is starting to crave more calories again without feeling full. It's like at the start of dieting when everything was a struggle and I was hungry and had to tell myself no! So back to the basics now I guess. I'm telling myself now. I'm staying low on calories and going to the gym. I can't just do whatever and figure it will be ok. Even though the results haven't completely reversed or anything I don't want that to happen. I do still want to continue to lose. Not just stay stable. And to do that I need to stay strict and turn it all around again to get to my goals.

Work hard.

Still losing but confused

I seem to still be losing weight which kind of confuses me. I still plan on keeping my caloric count down. And I know to drop more weight it will have to be even lower. But seeing my consumption so high worries me. Even though my net is fine. The consumption seems like it will hold me back in the long run. So for now I'm going to try to keep consumption low and calorie burning at the same level. Hopefully that will work.

I'm hungry and tired right now.

No working out

But made a delicious egg and artichoke wrap this morning which was delicious. When I go to the gym tomorrow I'm not going to be happy with what has happened but it was a long great weekend.

Cooking and shopping for one

Cooking and shopping for one is really difficult. I end up using the same ingredient for about 3 days in my dinners bc otherwise it goes bad and is wasted. That ends up being 6 meals bc there are always left overs. Not sure how to deal with this. I don't want it to get to be annoying to the point that I get to snacking bc I'm bored. I have learned not to buy the junk bc I will eat it. Ie cookies. Ugh. But it is also making me get creative on recipes.

Food update

So since my tumblr is turning into all food I thought I might as well write about it for recipe purposes.

Pictured here is chicken tofu and green beans.

1 chicken breast
Marinated in soy sauce, chicken broth, sriracha, sugar, corn starch.
Tofu was pan fried for a second to keep its form with a little garlic.
Cook chicken. Add garlic onions and green beans. Cook. Add tofu and hot chili oil.

Yay! Probably woulda been great over rice. But pita did ok.

Run run

Good elliptical. But I don't want to plateau. Doing arms. Gonna have to change up my cardio. It sucks bc it's going to make the work out seem so much longer without the heroes on Netflix. But until I reach my goal I need to push and it should be hard.

Spaghetti squash

Omg it tool forever but totally worth the wait. It was so much fun making this dish. Lots of veggies seasoned with soy sauce and ginger over the spaghetti squash. Great!

So hungry afternoon

I'm starving right now. I hella ate pbj too which means a lots of calories. No yogurt snack today. I wish I would have brought some carrots to munch on. Dinner not for a hella long time but time will fly as soon as I get out of the office. I might try to make that spaghetti squash!

Fatty failure

I failed this weekend. But not too horribly. I just will need to work harder. The scale at the dr was a disappointment. I want to drop the ten pounds for this month faster! Just gotta stay on the plan. Even on the weekends! It's going to take some discipline but it's something I want to do.

Disappointed

I woke up this morning very disappointed that I had seconds of paella last night. I was not strong and should have just gone to bed. I told myself it was ok bc of the amount of exercise I did. But I really wasnt hungry and it was late. So I shouldn't have eaten it. There is no way I will lose another ten pounds eating like that. I have newly set a ten pound per month goal for the next two months. Set a weight goal for Christmas basically hopefully I'll meet that. I need to read a little about what happens as time goes on. I'm assuming my body is going to adjust to fewer calories and the weight won't shed. So I will probably need to consume even less calories. This makes me sad bc it means even less good food. But once I reach my goals I should be able to increase without gaining in order to maintain the goal weight.

I have also decided that in November I'm doing 30 day shred. I am actually considering starting it oct 15 since I'm sure I'll have zero discipline during thanksgiving time. Ugh. Feeling sad about this.

Tired

I'm feeling really tired today. No idea why. Thinking about doing a long work out tonight too. Might not happen with this tiredness. I do think I might try to change it up with cardio by doing a little stationary bike to make it harder. I know I can't let my body get used to the same thing. That's why I don't end up going anywhere before. Maybe? Not really sure.

These weekends

They are always so tough to do well eating. But I think this one was pretty successful. Tried to stay pretty healthy. The drinking killed a lot of it. Don't know how I'm going to get around that.

Back on track for the week. I'm nervous about weighing in today. Hopefully I haven't slipped back towards disaster.

Again. I don't notice progress. I wish I did.

Afternoon tummy growl

Dunno why but I'm hungry right now! I shouldn't be. Especially with my high calorie lunch and actually eating my snack.

Going out to drinks and then to the gym is going to delay my eating. Man. Sad face.

Yum

Hella tasty and less calories than yoplait.

Hungry this morning

I'm kinda pissed off at myself for not going to the gym this morning before work. It's not a good precedent for myself. Definitely am going to go after the drinks tonight. Otherwise I'm gonna hate myself.

I am really hungry right now but going to try to power through until lunch. Leftovers for lunch today.

This chicken cacciatore isn't bad and has lots of flavor which is nice

Going to broil some steak tonight after finding a good seasoning or rub. And then eat lots of veggies. Excited to eat green beans.

Long work out day

I think today will be a long workout day. Miller decided to stay at school late. So what else am I gonna do. If I go home I'll be hungry and snack. Dont want to do that. So I'm going to stay at work and then head to the gym for an extended work out. Including machines. I don't think I'll do millers workout bc it makes me really sore. But maybe some parts. I would rather be sore earlier so I'm not on the weekend when I try to do things.

Tomorrow there is a drink mixer. I think I might try to hit the gym in the morning just in case I don't make it in the evening after the drinks. I wouldn't mind going twice though.

Lunch time

And I'm not hungry. I was very surprised by the scale last night. Especially after how I ate that weekend. Maybe it just takes time for the weight to come back after splurging? I want to keep this up and keep up the weight loss.

Wearing the tight suit today and still doesn't feel right yet.

I should eat a portion of my lunch right now just bc it will keep my metabolism going.

I never thought dieting would actually work. But it seems to. I am interested in doing measurements to see if I'll drop sizes. I want to know where all the weight is coming from bc I don't want it to just be water weight. I want it gone and to stay gone.

Rough weekend

This weekend my plan went out the window. Horribly. It's a little sad and depressing how I can let everything go so easily.

So newest goal of the weekend: keep it up! I know it just means that getting to my goal is going to take longer but I don't want the weekends to be horrible intake days.

I'm going to stay strict during the week. Maybe even cutting a little more and keep with the plan on the weekend. I do pretty ok during the weekends in Fresno but being in the bay is a huge struggle.

Back to the heavy grind of the work week.

Diet soda

I thought the amount of sodium in diet soda was a lot. But it's actually not that bad!

micro dinners

so i read an article today about how not good for you micro meals are because of the sodium levels. i think they are really convenient but if they aren't good for me i probably shouldn't be eating them. I don't think that I eat them that often, so it shouldn't be too much of a change.

there is often too much of a wealth of information out there. it confuses me. i do understand the logic of the basic premise of what I am doing however: consume less calories. my net at 1200 has been a good number and something I think that I can stick to after getting to goal weights. It sucks that this is the easy part where you lose a lot of weight really fast and it is only going to be tougher from here. I wonder if I am going to have to maintain this caloric intake forever to keep the weight off. I'm hungry almost all the time and would like a few more calories each day!

next weeks plan: cook a variety of chicken on monday and eat it throughout the week. I am lucky that i have enough time to do so.

Tricking myself

If food is available, I'll eat it out of boredom. I have a problem stopping eating if I don't feel full if there is still food in front of me. So I tricked myself this time! I cut my sandwich in half and left it in the downstairs fridge. If I don't have access I hopefully won't eat it. It might be a waste of food today but for the calorie count it was totally a good idea. I should have thought about this before I made a full rather than a half sandwich but now I know. Yay

Really big breakfast

I had a really big breakfast this morning of two egg whites, turkey pepperjack link, and toast. Saved some calories with no coffee. I'm going to try to only eat half of my sandwich but that's unlikely. So I'll cut my salad most likely. Or maybe just eat the salad first and then only eat some sandwich. Gotta learn some self control. I did drag myself out of bed this morning to get to the gym for a thirty minute elliptical. Same thing tomorrow.

Wow sore

The miller work out did it's job. My entire body is sore from it. Stretching is feeling so good right now. Morning work out tomorrow? What am I thinking?!? I know that I have to go in the morning bc it's unlikely I'll go after the mixer. Possible but unlikely. Should I risk it? Nope. Gonna make sure. And maybe even do two work outs.

Light dinner

Definitely need to eat a light dinner today after my lunch with potatoes! Gonna have one of my micro dinners which only has like 300 calories. Yay. They are actually pretty good. I think I may be looking for more at my walmart stop tonight. I love easy food when I can't cool the delicious calorie filled food I normally want to eat. For example: I really want some effing spaghetti!! Too bad.

Late night eating

I need to cut it out. I'm only eating when I'm bored and bc I have extra calories to consume. But I'm not really hungry. I should just go to sleep at night instead of tv and eating boredom. I'm going to try to consume less than 1200 every day. Not just net. It will take a little getting used to but I think it's possible

Also probably going to just weigh in every week from now on. If I can resist it.

Feeling weak

Doing millers workout that he showed me. And I'm a weak sauce. I don't know if I'll be able to complete the cardio at the end but I'll need to for calorie purposes. Ugh.

Work out buddy

Jesha is jumping on the fitness train and now I'll have company in this eating less struggle. Gonna try to make sure we both log everything the best we can.

Tough machine

Im not a fan of the ellipticals here bc they are tougher on the calorie burn. Hopefully it's accurate. Definitely feels harder so I guess that is a good thing.

Personal trainer steve

Fitness 19 just called. Gonna actually do the intro training session that comes with the membership. Probably won't be anything I don't know but it's free so why not.

Separated breakfast

I deconstructed my breakfast this morning and consumed it in smaller parts. I wasn't hungry until much later in the day. Took a late lunch. Still looking to see some results on the scale. I'll be canceling snap fitness today and going to fitness 19. I got a pretty good deal I think. Only 16 a month! I don't really like their ellipticals but I guess I'll have to get used to it.

Food tonight I'm thinking microwaved something. Gotta watch tv too!

No food

So I went out tonight and consumed some wasteful calories. But gotta do it sometimes

I came home and really wanted to eat. But I only have 150 calories left. I guess I could have had a yogurt. But what I really wanted was ramen. And if not ramen then corn dog. But alas I had strength. I figure I'm going to sleep and tomorrow I can eat those things as meals. And burn them off if I eat too much.

Lunch time

Lunch time is fatty time I feel like my meals are too many calories these past few days at lunch. I will be working on that for next week.

Next weeks lunch I would like to eat mostly salads and maybe a little bit of chicken. No more of this over eat lunch stuff.

While eating my sandwich I was halfway done and I knew I should stop but I didn't. Again more to work on. Seeing pounds will probably motivate me to stop eating before I feel full and stop even though I still have time.

Hungry!

I'm hungry right now at 10:30 in the morning after my breakfast of egg white sandwich. But I shall wait for lunch. It's brought in on Fridays which is awesome.

I hate feeling hungry but maybe that means it's working. I was excited to learn that I would be going out later in the evening to elbow room so that I can make it to the gym today! I definitely can't forget to weigh myself today. I am hoping for some sort of result tracking and that seems to be the only way to do it. Maybe I should get a tape measure and see if I'm shrinking at all size wise. I wore my tight suit the other day and it seemed fine but still tight. At some point last fall it wasn't tight anymore. So I at least have to get to that point by the end of the month hopefully.

Couple more days at snap fitness before the trial ends. Then trying bg3 or something like that. Supposed to be a nice place. And I'll probably end up at ballys because it's the best price.

My run today

Forgot!

I Forgot to weigh myself. Ugh. Super bummed! Well tomorrow I guess. Hopefully I even make it bc i do want to stop for drinks with the new people. And I have to research alcohol with low caloric values.

At the gym stretching

I dont understand why the first 30 minutes of an elliptical run is always so hard. And then while I just stay on bc I'm watching tv it goes so much faster and easier. I wish I could feel like that the whole time. There is a scale here and im going to use it. I know you aren't supposed to weigh yourself every day but I guess I can. It might make me work harder to see results. I just don't want it to discourage me bc it's so slow going.

Too Much Lunch

The firm took me out to lunch today and there was just too much lunch! I don't know if I am overdoing things by recording in multiple places but oh well:

Lunch today:

-Piece of bread

-White Bean Soup

-Green Beans

-Small amount of potato salad

-bit of beef

-lamp chop

-steak fries

-salad

Gonna have to be a big workout and a small dinner tonight.

i'm hungry. I want results.

i think that is my biggest problem--i want results too fast. losing one pound means nothing to me...even five would mean nothing to me...i just want to see it on the scale, which isn't how i should think. since moving to fresno i have been pretty good. i record everything that i eat and the exercise that i do. it keeps me accountable

i think this blog will be more for bitching about being hungry and not seeing results. its not really going to be a log that way that myfitnesspal is.

this is my general dietary game plan that i have been following:

-caloric net: 1200

-trying to not eat carbs late at night (failing sorta)

-exercise 3-5 times a week (being realistic but i really want to do more)

-less alcohol

i think i might try separating my food out during the day more: like breakfast is generally 2-3 items and i could separate them and feel less hungry in the morning possibly.

i know you are supposed to eat small meals throughout the day--so ill try that.

ive been pretty good about not drinking my calories which was a major problem.

at the gym ive been doing my standard 30 minutes of cardio and then doing 3 strength exercises. its pretty easy. i might try something new at some point though